How to Create A Very Unsatisfied Customer in 10 Easy Steps

1. Tell your customer when they call you to upgrade their service that everything is no problem and at the end of the call, prompt your customer to answer the leading question, "Were you very satisfied with your service today?

2. Don’t implement the changes to their service.

3. Take a 2nd call from your customer who’s asking why upgrades weren’t made and explain what they wanted actually couldn’t be done but you’ll do it another way.

4. Before ending 2nd call, ask your customer to answer the leading question, "Were you very satisfied with your service today?

5. Don’t implement the changes to their service.

6. Take a 3rd call from your customer and tell them that yes, their changes were made and send their call to your help desk.

7. At the help desk, tell your customer that no, your upgrades weren’t made but I’ll pass you onto a salesperson who can place the order.

8. Take the service order from your customer for a 3rd time. Ask your customer to answer the leading question, "Were you very satisfied with your service today?

9. When your customer says, no, they aren’t not very satisfied with the service and why, boldly tell them that they will be satisfied because the service will be upgraded within the day.

10. When the customer tells you that you are the 5th person they have talked to in 3 weeks about an upgrade that should have been done within 24 hours, raise their blood pressure by proclaiming, "But you are very satisified, right?" Quote. Unquote.

11. (Optional): Listen to the silence of the very unsatisfied customer hanging up on you. Look at the clock to see when your next break is.

Sigh.

Comments

[kathy Rhine]

I try one of the Tonino's pizza the other day. And when we open it up the pepperoni on it was so brown looking we threw it out. I have always used this brand, but this one was not right. Thank you for listen. we just got it from the stor too , we have not had it very long.

[Anne McLain]

Hi Tom et al-

Yes, I did get the upgrade. But that didn't upgrade my satisfaction level to 'very satisfied'. :(

[Tom Klein]

So, after talking to that fifth person did you finally get your upgrade (within the day as promised)?